Oh, true love! It can be truly hard to find, and when you finally do, you feel like your living up in cloud nine. I don’t blame you, it’s an amazing, magical, thrilling, otherworldly feeling, did I mention amazing?! Finding the guy or girl of your dreams will simply throw you up against the wall and take your breath away, making you feel the happiest person alive.
But as of everything in life, a relationship takes its time to grow and it’s a constant labour — hence, a labour of love, which needs a cup of patience and sweetness, a spoonful of understanding and forgiveness, and tons and tons of caring, kissing, smooching and cuddling. It is not an effort, it will all come naturally. Though everybody fights! There’s always a gloomy day, a black thick cloud hanging above you, worries that won’t make you think or see clearly at certain times, you name it, we’ve all been there… two worlds colliding may get messy.
Even though your partner isn’t the one to blame, he or she will eventually feel that anger coming towards his/her way. Sometimes it will get utterly confusing. But hey, that’s just a teeny weeny fraction of the grandness that is love and its inner workings! Yes, that’s when you should bring your all your guns, I mean an extra pack of patience, understanding and forgiveness. REMEMBER, whatever you give out, it shall all come back to you.
Every relationship is a process so be open to learning, growing and changing as you go. It goes through phases of growth and hard and easy times, just like the tides of an ocean. That relationship can be the most meaningful and endearing thing you’ll ever have in your life, but it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. Na na na! It has its highs and lows which are all a part of the beauty of the magnitude and expanse of the ocean, just like waves crashing.
They are complicated and are bound to change through time, and surprise you at times for good and for bad! And it is all okay because if Love is your foundation then all that Love will come from within… therefore Love immerses us in mercy and grace, which we can do for one another.
All of us are guilty, at one time or another, of making mistakes, having ups and downs, and even displaying some behavior that we may not always be proud of. When we find friends or loved ones who can forgive us and stand by us, even during our worst moments, we should be especially grateful. That said, loyalty should never be taken for granted and we should always be deeply appreciative when it comes our way.
So if you find yourself dwelling on what went wrong or what you shouldn’t have said or done, well… Forget about it already! Shit happened and it’s lying in the past now. There’s absolutely nothing you can do erase that “bad word” or “sentence”. Swallow your pride. This is when you come fully-loaded with perseverance, patience, kindness and all the sweetness to prove your loved one you didn’t mean to do or say what you did, and remind him/her you still are that very same person he/she fell in love with.
To avoid future storms and tornados, you should acknowledge some rules for your relationship and establish whatever suits you best. There is ONE golden rule which consists in replacing defeatist actions and thoughts with positive, self-supporting and healthy ones to enable the kind of relationship you’ve always wanted. Fight fair. Fighting is part of every healthy relationship, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Do not destroy or demean what you’ve had in your wonderful past together only because that is the only thing you can come up with to hurt your partner. That’s mean and no way to win, in fact there’s certainly no winning in a relationship. You are a team, so you have to fight as a team for the sake of your relationship, not for you as an individual. Resolve conflict fairly, talk through it as soon as you’re ready, try to understand your partner’s reasons and motivations and work as a team to avoid future critical situations. You could be just like a team of ghost busters killing your demons when they’re calling out! See, it can be fun, if you look at it in other perspective!
You have to be supportive of each other during good times and bad times. And also be able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences and still be able to be secure and comfortable. There has to be good communication at all times and sense of playfulness and fondness! Why so serious?
This may harder for men than women, but you need to accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important. Don’t forget you’re both individuals who are growing entwined in one another; “two heads think better than one“, which can mean beautiful inner workings of a great relationship, if you let the give-and-take flow go. But, don’t expect too much of your partner if he/she is going through rough times; be patient, give but don’t expect to take in return right away.
Your relationship has got to be your life-long masterpiece, a stunning piece of art mastered throughout the years. Through the ups and downs, it will change and become something greater if you both work on it. Don’t ever give up, because that can be your soulmate and each second is valuable. Don’t waste time and dwell on stupid arguments, rise above them!
Every day is a new chance for you guys to work your relationships out, make them greater, yummier and the nicest place to be. Be unconditionally there, be trustworthy, show how appreciative of him/her you are everyday because you don’t know when it’s gonna be the last.
Now love birds, go hug the hell out of your partner and spread out some yummy love, XO
Images found on Weheartit, VamosVoarAgora & Khomenko